I spend almost every day making promises I won’t keep, can’t keep, or even bargains with myself I know I won’t follow through on. “I’m going to practice my language courses ten minutes a day”, “I’ll get my step goals daily”, “I have to edit one video before I can watch this TV show.” I know what I’m doing when I say these things to myself and yet I keep doing it anyway.

This time of year, you’ll see these discussions everywhere. People on sides you didn’t even know needed to exist, those that do goals, resolutions and more, those that refuse to make any and make fun of the system. Those that don’t know what’s going on and just riding the wave of time. In the end, goals, milestones and resolutions have different effects on everyone. They motivate some, and disappoint others. They cause stress to some and to others, help them feel organized and productive.

I’m the type of person that feels both ways about goals and resolutions. I spent most of my life always making the same few about my weight but never being serious about them. Then various things started happening as I got older that slowly changed things. I went to a conference, I read a thing online, I listened to a podcast and after all these things lined up over a few years time, something just clicked for me. I finally sorted out what worked for me. I set tiers of goals. I have a vision board that’s huge, maybe never goals and then yearly and even monthly goals that I can achieve. I take the big bite and the small bite. I make so many goals that missing a few here and there, and lying to myself doesn’t hurt like it used to. There’s always something more to accomplish or work towards and days that I just lay on the couch, tempt my dogs to stay with me and just let the TV run, it’s still ok.

I still make deals, bargains and promises to myself that I can’t or won’t keep but these little things get me moving to the next thing in the end. And that works for me. I hope you can find what works for you.