Today has been that type of day. We lost an hour to daylight savings, the weather in Ohio isn’t as warm as we’d like yet, I’ve been out of work for personal reasons, so trying to catch up with all I’ve missed, and have loose ends to tie up. Everything seems to be coming at me all at once and I’m not sure I have anything to give.
Today though, I’m managing to keep going. I don’t know why, but I am feeling the motivation to grow something, to improve something, or to learn something. I’m downloading apps about organizing my life and creating tasks, I’m seeing which ones I can use for free, and which ones are only trials. I am looking at this website and starting a task list of little things I can change to help grow and build on this space. To quote Zach Braff: “Find something each day that you can do, to get closer to your goals” I think I finally grasp what I can do for me.
Motivation is improbable to force, but I hope you can find something that will motivate you. I have started using playlists of oldies music with ambience noise to power myself through work or my personal tasks. I am using lists to break things down into ideas. I binge watch K Dramas on Netflix and find inspiration to be like the strong female characters I watch.
I always thought I was empty, but it turns out I have something left in me. I’m writing this post after 2 months. I finished some books I wanted to read, I started new ones. I finished some TV series I’ve always wanted to finish, and I’m updating and refreshing this place. I’m operating. I’m here. I’m managing.
People are right when they say to do the small things to feel like you managed something. It piles up, it helps, it keeps me moving on for more. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be, and be mine. I might have felt empty, but there’s reserves and more inside. I’m feeding my desires and finding what I need to keep progressing into the world I want to see.